100m out.

Wow. i just fully outgayed myself last night

Went on a late night homo syndrome rampage. talking to a friend on the phone about feelings and stuff until 2.
i woke up. and i felt really gay. but i meant everything i said.
and i know i should be feeling sad about everyone leaving. but it hasn't really hit that strongly yet. maybe other stuff is masking it. but maybe also because i know we'll be in touch in the future.
been trying to think about a post that'd be really moving and emotional to just thank everyone involved for what they've done for me and for the entire grade. but it's just not coming to me.

well what happened today:
i planned to go to city to study at state library, and buy some past paper textbooks so i can actually get motivated and not do stuff half heartedly anymore.
woke up at 8-30 forcefully, hopped in the shower to try and wake myself up . and got in dad's car to go off to the city.
had breakfast in qvb, in one of those side cafes. the pancakes were really nice and soft. and i was surprisingly really full afterwards.

the coffee was kind of refreshingly bitter. but i was really brain dead afterwards.probably not enough sleep

trying to do questions and papers at the library, and it just didn't come to me

library opened at 10, so i got there on the dot, so it was empty. but as usual, it gets really full afterwards. after about 2 or 3 hours of trying. i decided to go grab some lunch and go buy my textbooks.

there was some rural greens protest outside parliament house for some reason as i walked past.

so get to this asian store which is located nowhere anyone would know. unless you were told about it. its in chinatown on the third floor, behind a million hallways. they give large discounts, if you go to james ruse or something. cause the guys son used to go to james ruse. get my books and i go get lunch at coffee club

get a steak sandwich and mango frappe. it was pretty nice. but not hard to make. so might give that a go at home some day.

head back to library again to give it a second shot. and study until library closes. never feel like i'm doing much. chinatown was pretty festive with dragons and everything cause of moon festival? i'm so out of it now


and here i am typing.
i'm really proud of our grade. well most of it.
i love it how we can all just go anywhere in a big group. everyone knows each other, and it's just really nice how everyone gets along.
i love our forum and all the funny stuff that goes on in it.
and the blogging community. opening up to each other and sharing parts of our lives. that's been really nice.

i'm proud of our nerdy tag. it's nothing to be ashamed of. and we embrace it really well and make fun of it ourselves. i remember watching james ruse love letter made by the past prefects. and all the nerdy ruse raps :P so good.
just all this stuff we share with each other, and our arrogant school pride :P
other schools might hate it, but i don't really care.

i feel really proud when people tell me about people they've met in our grade, and how nice all of them are. i smile and nod with appreciation. i've never really appreciated that, but everyone is caring and loving. and i am forever in debt to them for that

and i hope that one day, if we see each other in the street in a long time. even if we didn't talk that much in high school. that we'd stop and chat and catch up. that you won't be ashamed to make the first move and walk over if you see me across the road
the lunch is on me. no matter how cash-poor i am. but don't exploit me ;)

and when all you guys are successful and have everything in your lives. we'll share it together and never forget the times we had in our high schooling lives. and how it helped us to be where we are.

it's not a time to be sad. be happy that we've been so good to each other, and that there will be many good times to come. together and apart.
may your future lives be filled with joy.
and i'm going to stop there now. before i get all gay again.

take care everyone
love y'all